Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
this boner is exhausting
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
