I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
