Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
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