I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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