I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
