grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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