Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Why is your signature on my underwear?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
