Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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