I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
