We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
