i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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