If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
