Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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