Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
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