dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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