I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize