I must be too annoying 4 u.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
