Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
