he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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