I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
