If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
