So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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