omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
