Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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