yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
