Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
