it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
