i permit you to call me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
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