i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
