Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
