I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
