question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
