apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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