Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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