Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
