You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
