she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
