I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
