Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
