I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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