i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
