you turned your livingroom into a bong?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
