I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
two words...techno handjob
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
