This girl is more easily done than said...
I bet he comes in French.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
