that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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