I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
