heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
