Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
