This girl is more easily done than said...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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