I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
