The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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