Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
