Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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