I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
