that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
