it's too hot outside to masturbate.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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