I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize