Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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