Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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