if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize