i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Alive.
So much puke
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
