Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
