it glows. i had to have it.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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